Difficulties and Benefits

The following are some of the responses to an email sent to the members of the aifw listserv in January 2008

The most difficult thing I find about The thing I appreciate most about

the feeling of having to defend my church's beliefs * meeting Christians of other denominations and learning

(at times) from their faith walk.

to respect the differences, and to learn about each * if we really care to see the good things instead of the

other faith weaknesses, you will learn lots of things

being keenly and consistently aware of church divisions * the chance to participate with two very different parishes,

which many people don't notice and aren't bothered by both of which we really enjoy.

understanding the complexities of my husband's fierce

belonging to the Roman Catholic Church. Supporting * an enhanced mindfulness of the outsider. When in a

over the past several years what seems to me to be a Christian setting, I try to speak and behave as though non-

relatively inactive style of belonging has somehow felt members of my community are present and to be included.

less straightforward than supporting regular dual

attendance and involvement. But it's about support, isn't it? * that as our marriage has matured we have grown and

matured ourselves in our individual and shared faith, and

talking to other Christians in enough depth, including the this has deepened our love for each other in its turn and

clergy, about our unity in Baptism and Marriage, as very enabled us to minister to others, not least our children.

often others just don't have the experience to identify with

our situation. * the huge amount I have learned about my personal

Christian faith and my birth family's (URC+Anglican) and

the way same-church couples or fervent + agnostic are my worship family's (Anglican - i.e. Church of England given

accepted easily and we - interchurch families - are where I live) through getting to understand and learn about

discriminated against/ treated differently at God's table/ and learn from and enjoy and value the faith-traditions of

thought difficult/challenging the actual spouse and her birth and worship family (Roman

Catholic)

I honestly believe my faith and love of God would not be as

rich and as deep and as well-founded on the Rock as it has been due to my "marrying out" and often therefore "playing

away"! I also think our children have benefited from being

brought up in a family of Christian first, church member

second and lots of flexibility in that church membership,

without preconception that they "cannot be both"; as a

matter of reality they know they belong in the family of

their mother and their father and that we belong in each

other's church family's too